Could it be as Easy as 1, 2, 3?
Updated: May 6
(link to first part)
PART 2
The Things you CAN control
CHAPTER 3
The Present: How finding your power in the present moment can unlock a life beyond your wildest dreams
Transitioning from living my life in increments of milestones to finding power in the hours, days, and moments in between
Have you ever told yourself that once you hit a certain goal - get that promotion, the new car, or a big house- then you will be happy? - if you work hard enough for a certain goal, then you can feel happy? Then can you relish in your achievements? …only to get there, and that happiness soon fades, and you start looking for the next thing to strive for?
If so we are a lot a like.
Over the past year, I came to understand that I had been so focused on reaching my next goal – be it a business milestone, a certain amount of money, or finding my own place – that I lost sight of the beauty of the moments in between. I had created self-imposed timelines that revolved around reaching my goals, convincing myself that relaxation, slowing down, and happiness could only come after achieving them. Continuously chasing the next milestone left me unfulfilled, and uninspired, and eventually led me to a deep depression.
I would sacrifice so much to get to these milestones that I once deemed the utmost importance– often saying no to friends, depriving myself of outdoor enjoyment, giving up sleep or self-care, postponing vacations, and even not accompanying my mother to Brazil to visit my cancer-diagnosed grandfather...because I had to work.
I sacrificed precious present moments because I was focused on arriving at my next future milestone, only to arrive and wonder why I felt unhappy and unfulfilled - hmmm I wonder why? - Oh, and these sacrifices also led me to harbor resentment towards my jewelry. Once my passion project business now turned into something I had to endure.
I found myself in a cycle of unhappiness feeling deprived of many fulfilling moments both in personal life and my business. This cycle needed to be broken. How to break the cycle (at least what worked for me):
Be grateful for what you have in your present moment
Be intentional about how you are spending your present moment; honor your present self
It sounds cliche and blissfully ignorant for me to tell you that all your problems will be solved by learning to love the journey, but before you roll your eyes (as I did once before to this information) - please hear me out
Not every moment or situation in life will be ideal, and most likely you are not exactly where you want to be - I know I am not - but being able to find the beauty in your current situation, being grateful for and working with what you have in your present situation will lead you to a happier and more fulfilled life.
You can sit in your current moment and wish to be in a better situation, wish for more money, for better friends, more time to travel, a bigger house - anything, but wishing for things won’t make them come faster. When you sit with your life and you wish for things, you are thinking in the future; you are not present. You are wishing away what you have in the present in hopes of rush-ordering the future. But sit and look around you, look at your space, the people around you, your opportunities, and see how much beauty and abundance is all around you, chances are there is a lot to be grateful for. Can you walk outside and feel the warmth of the sun on your skin (granted it's not night time) You have a phone, computer, or tablet that you are reading this on right now, that's something to be grateful for! Are you able to eat today? Take a warm shower? Even something that we do everyday that we don't think about, but is quite remarkable, you are breathing right now.
If you are not grateful for the things you have now, why would you be given more things to be grateful for? When you become grateful, mindful, and positive about the things you have, more abundance will surround you. Okay I hear you, I am grateful for having a roof over my head, clean clothes, and food on my table, but it is okay to be grateful for these things and still want a little more. I want a life that allows me to have free time (and money of course) to travel, be with friends, indulge in passion projects, time to RELAX.
If you have similar desires or even desires that differ, the best part is that you can fulfill those desires now. You don't have to wait for the future to arrive to do things that make you happy, inspired, and fulfilled. Be mindful and grateful for your space, for where you are and use that to propel you forward.
For example, I would like to be lying on a beach in Italy, reading a book right now, but I can’t do that. I could sit and waste my present moment wishing to be in Italy, making myself sad, ORRRR I could take a look around me and think: “well I have 4 national parks around me, I am going to take a drive to my local park and sit by the stream and read a book.” - And it may not be Italy, but how lucky am I that I can drive to my local stream after work or on the weekend to read one of my favorite books by a babbaling stream, feel the sun on my skin, marvel at how light shines through the trees, listen to the birds chirping, and feel as fulfilled and happy with the company of the forest in Maryland as I would on a beach in Italy. Life can be and IS full of beautiful moments, but you have to take a moment to pause. Be mindful about how you you can honor your present self, and that is when you can to truly revel in lifes bounty and beauty.
This is just one example of how you can find abundance and happiness with what you have in your present moment. Having this mindset can help to make a lot of lifes moments really freaking cool! However, this takes a shift in mindset, you have to be intentional about the way you are going about your life. It is easy to get caught up in the negativities in life, in wishing for more, and getting lost in daydreams. It takes practice, patience, and determination to shift your perspective - to slow down, and really try to be grateful for what you have. But once you do this, you will be amazed at how many more things align and fall into place to bring you even more things to be happy and grateful for. Now this is a cycle that I can get behind!! -When you do the inner work, it reflects on the outside, I promise-
Finding magic in the mundane
To give you a little more encouragement on how to honor your present self, Honoring your present self doesn’t have to involve making drastic, time-consuming changes. I know that change or additions to your already busy schedule can feel overwhelming, so let’s not make happiness something that feels overwhelming.
It sounds wonderful to be able to have time or make time to do things that fuel our soul, but at the end of the day, we do have responsibilities - the laundry isn’t going to fold itself, the bathroom needs a good cleaning day, your to do list needs some new slashes. UGHHHH …But, if we need to do these things like chores, and work, and other commitments, that ultimately are good for us anyway, why not find magic in the mundane too?
I made an intentional decision to romanticize the ‘mundane’ parts of life. I bought a $30 pair of headphones from Amazon and no longer do I have to muster up the willower to clean, fold, and put away my laundry, I have a a dance party with me, myself, and my mirror, and have a wonderful time folding my clothes. Clothes that I feel so grateful to have because I love fashion. Fashion along with jewelry has been a way to express myself and my creativity, so I love being lucky enough to have so many clothes that make me feel confident and empowered.
No longer is cooking for myself a task that I huff and puff about, I put on my headphones, drink some wine, and dance while cooking a delicious meal, infusing my food with love and care, feeling grateful that I have the ability to cook myself nutritious food to fuel me for an amazing day!
And to be completely transparent with you, I don’t always have a dance party when I cook, clean, or fold laundry, sometimes life is comes at you fast and the day is over in the blink of an eye, that is okay. But, try to do one thing a day that makes you happy, whatever that may look like. We don’t have to save our happiness for these big milestone moments in our life, happiness is all around us, we just have to slow down enough to sit in it and allow ourselves to feel that happiness. Maybe the next time you are on your lunch break, you find a bench or table outside to enjoy your meal. I always love eating outside, it allows me to slow down a bit, sit with my thoughts, savor each bite of food. When you are outside, take a moment to the listen to the trees rustling, the birds chirping, or even the chatter of people walking around you. Feel the warmth of the sun on your skin… just soak up this feeling of being. Sometimes all you have to do to feel fulfilled and happy, is simply to be, be in the moment, love where your feet are at. Don’t think about what happened earlier in the day before lunch, don’t think about what you have to do when you get home, just close your eyes and be in the moment, this calm, relaxing - nothing else matters right now- moment.
That 30 minute (should be an hour long if you ask me!!) lunch break most likely will leave you at least smidge happier for the day ahead.
Maybe you set your morning alarm 15 minutes earlier than usual so that you can have a karaoke session in your car to your favorite songs to get you pumped up for the day ahead! Make it even better by stopping by your local bakery to pick up a yummy snack for later… future you will thank you :)
Being mindful about the small things that spark joy in your life, finding beauty in the munda